213 Things Skippy Can't Do in the Army

I ran across the Skippy Rules a few years ago. They were so true, so funny, so brilliant I saved the URL. Now I share it with you:

Explanations of these events:

a) I did myself, and either got in trouble or commended. (I had a Major shake my hand for the piss bottle thing, for instance.)
b) I witnessed another soldier do it. (Like the Sergeant we had, that basically went insane, and crucified some dead mice.)
c) Was spontaneously informed I was not allowed to do. (Like start a porn studio.)
d) Was the result of a clarification of the above. (“What about especially patriotic porn?”)
e) I was just minding my own business, when something happened. (“Schwarz...what is *that*?” said the Sgt, as he pointed to the back of my car? "Um....a rubber sheep...I can explain why that's there....")

To explain how I've stayed out of jail/alive/not beaten up too badly..... I'm funny, so they let me live.

A sample of the Rules: -Go Read the List

My proper military title is "Specialist Schwarz" not "Princess Anastasia".

3. Not allowed to threaten anyone with black magic.

4. Not allowed to challenge anyone's disbelief of black magic by asking for hair.

5. Not allowed to get silicone breast implants.

6. Not allowed to play “Pulp Fiction” with a suction-cup dart pistol and any officer.

7. Not allowed to add “In accordance with the prophesy” to the end of answers I give to a question an officer asks me.

8. Not allowed to add pictures of officers I don't like to War Criminal posters.

9. Not allowed to title any product “Get Over it”.

10. Not allowed to purchase anyone's soul on government time.

11. Not allowed to join the Communist Party.

Do these remind you of anyone we know?

Economist Predicts

The Economist predictably predicts that the dearth of music sales means the end of music as we know it. They have no faith in human ingenuity. They have no trust in Adam Smith's invisible hand or the marketplace. They have no idea that music existed before the arrival of the industry and that it will survive long long long afterwards.

I think it's safe to say that there would be less music available overall. Many people are arguing that bands could simply use albums as loss leaders for concerts. ... But most people will probably spread the savings over their entire budget, meaning only a very modest boost for live performance earnings. ... Probably downloading will modestly increase the amount of concert attendance and the price people are willing to pay for them, but I can't see it doing so by anything but a small fraction of the revenue stream being lost from selling recorded music. ... Meanwhile, professional artists have to eat. If you reduce the size of the revenue streams available to fund their music-making, some of them will have to spend less time making music, and more time making money some other way. ... It's not hard to imagine that the death of the music industry could also mean the death of overproduced boy bands and Britney Spears knockoffs.

What will we do without gatekeepers and marketing gurus to decide who's a star and who's not? What the Economist fails to understand is that we never did need the gatekeepers and marketing manipulators. We never did need multi-BILLION-dollar record execs. We never did need multi-BILLION dollar recording stars. The mega-rock stars will have to survive on their paltry few millions. This of course means fewer hangers-on, fewer retainers, fewer trips to rehab, fewer drugs and alcohol, fewer expensive tantrums, fewer fixers and menders to do all the little deeds that must be done to achieve the right mood, fewer dollars for politicians and political posturing. There will be more emphasis on making music and selling songs.

We do not now, nor did we ever, need expensive CDs selling us 13 songs of crap for the one hit we wanted to buy. We do not now, nor did we ever, need Greatest Hits CDs filled with bad recordings of hit songs. We do now, nor did we ever, need compilations of songs from other releases and two new songs packaged as the latest NEW release.

The Record Industry screwed the public. They milked us like we were dairy Holsteins... We will not miss them. We will watch as they dangle Octopus Contracts to corral any new artists
who are fool enough to sign. They will then use legislation to control the consumer when they can no longer manipulate the market.... The Internet is freeing those with imagination, talent, drive, ambition, and ability even in modest amounts.

The Economist is very much of the Olde European School: Find a Market and Control It.

Cross Posted at Andynonymous

Smrt's Corner: Speaking of flowers..

Smrt's Corner: Speaking of flowers..

No JFK

On January20, 1961 JFK's Inaugural Address had the following statement. Throughout the following decades it was played several times on TV, usually to confront and halt Republican initiatives.

Let every nation know, whether it wishes us well or ill, that we shall pay any price, bear any burden, meet any hardship, support any friend, oppose any foe, in order to assure the survival and the success of liberty.

He concluded with the following:

My fellow citizens of the world: ask not what America will do for you, but what together we can do for the freedom of man.	26
Finally, whether you are citizens of America or citizens of the world, ask of us the same high standards of strength and sacrifice which we ask of you.

Yesterday's actions by the Pelosi Congress shows that America has traveled a long way from the ideals of our youth and the previous generation. Now we do not care who we betray or what burden they will bear for our perfidious arrogance.

By yesterday's vote, JFK would be a Conservative Republican-!

Trucking

Having a life long financial interest in the movement of freight, all kinds; I ran across this blog. I thought it might be interesting to share the perspective of a long haul truck driver... Yep, real people doing real work.... The work is not as hard as it once was, but you're away from home for extended periods. The pay is not as low as it once was, but nobody is getting rich quick. Everything comes by truck. The business is not going away. Nor is the work for everybody.

http://a-truckers-journey.blogspot.com/

He started the blog when he was in CDL school with CR England. They are a big regional refrigerated carrier out of Salt Lake City..

The trucking industry is in desperate need of drivers. Many are recruiting from among the retired boomers. This has an appeal to those who have the fantasy of buying a motorhome and traveling the country... If you can drive a motorhome, you can drive a big rig. Companies are allowing the drivers to be flexible at the end of their runs and taking a day here and there to see the sights. Many of these guys travel with their wives and/or dogs. If the wife drives, they earn more money as team drivers, plus get more days off. Most of the freight is no-touch with little handling required. The regulated hours of service do not allow a truck to operate more than 10 hours a day or driver be on duty more than 14. That means the truck is parked for 10 hours every day and 34 continuous hours every 7 days... Good way to see the Cowboy Hall of fame in Oklahoma City, or Branson, or Yosemite, the Liberty Bell, Coral Gables or.....

I like blogs from real people who are doing things (as opposed to people who spend waytoo much time on the computer arguing about Dancing Angels and Picking Nits with one another). Sometimes it seems the Blog-O-Sphere is just the same few people repeating the same assumptions-charges-challenges to each other...

Michael Yon in Iraq

If you're not familiar with this writer; You should be.

Read him and learn why we are losing the media war in Iraq.
We lost the victory in Vietnam. We are in danger of losing the victory in Iraq. We lost the victory in Somalia. Osama and Al Qaida have forecast that we have a history of running away from victory.

We need to know what is happening. The truth, not the spin. We need to see it from the views that our troops see it. This is a real war. The consequences of losing are great. The consequences of losing at the point of victory will cause problems for our grandchildren.

Drop a few coins in his tip jar on your way out.

Also posted at Andynonymous

Presidential?

Am I the only one wondering what Bill Clinton is gonna do when his wife gets flak as President? If he can't shut up and stay out of the fray when she's running, what will he do later on? I'm afraid that -EVERYTIME- he shows up and starts talking he makes her look weak.

Maybe its just me...

That Ain't Working

That's the way you do it.......

The L.A. Times reports that News Corp. and NBC Universal are about to announce plans for an online video site stocked with TV shows and movies, plus clips that users can modify and share (but no mention of user-created content). The alliance reportedly has already cut distribution deals with Google rivals Yahoo, Microsoft, Time Warner Inc.'s AOL and News Corp.'s MySpace, deals that would allow programming to be packaged and shared with a far wider audience than the site itself would draw.

"It won’t challenge YouTube. YouTube is two parts social experience, one part video experience. That’s how it gets millions of viewers. But this site could draw traffic from NBC.com or Fox.com, as viewers learn to seek the show they like rather than the network that produces it. If other networks come on board it could become a significant online destination. ... This thing could take off like a rocket -- or it could expode on the launchpad, with too many partners trying to get their fingers in the design."

PCs Bend to Your Brains

Danger Room offers the following report

Pushing through extremes of heat and cold, surviving massive blood loss, and supercharging the body's metabolism -- that was just the start. The military isn't only looking to radically boost the physical performance of American troops. Its trying to improve mental abilities, as well. The first step: computers than can scan your mind and adapt to what you're thinking.

Since 2000, Darpa, the Pentagon's blue-sky research arm, has spearheaded a far-flung, nearly $70 million effort to build prototype cockpits, missile control stations and infantry trainers that can sense what's occupying their operators' attention, and adjust how they present information, accordingly. Similar technologies are being employed to help intelligence analysts find targets easier by tapping their unconscious reactions.

"Computers today, you have to learn how they work," says Navy Commander Dylan Schmorrow, who served as Darpa's first program manager for this Augmented Cognition project. He now works for the Office of Naval Research. "We want the computer to learn you, adapt to you."

Scroll down to see the links to other technologies that are being developed for our next generation of military warriors.

Noah Shachtman has a longer article here on Aug Cog and Darpa's Neural Net Technology

Mashup Upsets Pros

The Establishment Awakens and discovers the kids have been playing.

"It may be the most stunning and creative attack ad yet for a 2008 presidential candidate -- one experts say could represent a watershed moment in 21st century media and political advertising."

"The compelling "Hillary 1984" video recently introduced on YouTube represents "a new era, a new wave of politics ... because it's not about Obama," said Peter Leyden, director of the New Politics Institute, a San Francisco-based think tank on politics and new media. "It's about the end of the broadcast era."

"Bill Burton, a spokesman for Obama, said he is aware of the "Hillary 1984" video and has gotten calls from reporters on it -- but he insisted that the campaign is not connected to it. "It's somebody else's creation," he said, declining to comment on the ad's biting content.

Burton said he doesn't know who created the spot, but it shows "there is a lot of energy for Sen. Obama on the Web, in communities all over the country ... and frankly, that energy will manifest itself in a lot of ways."

But in the weeks since its early March debut, the expertly created video remix -- called a mashup in blogosphere circles -- has "changed the zone" between political campaigns, their followers and the Internet, said Simon Rosenberg, president of the Washington-based New Democrat Network,"

STILL -Nobody knows who-dun-it... No author has stepped froward for credit. Everybody is excited about 1) the quality, 2) audacity, 3) anonymity, 4) possibility that there is more to come. With no authors to be found and destroyed, what will be done in response? The traditional mythos among the Democrat Consultants is that Kerry waited too long in responding to the Swift Boat ads. Hillary has vowed not to make that mistake.

Its still gonna be a long-long-long campaign (Cue: Long and Winding Road by Beatles)

Somewhere in a Blogosphere close, close to us..

The WSJ is right as well... The internet is too vast, too global, too many tastes for any company to try to control their customers. Every company that attempts to control their customers should be sold short. ..Andy

For the same reason stated above, I can't fathom how there could ever be 100% effective censorship on the net. I think if 'we' had to figure out a way to circumvent censorship in order to communicate with each other or an intested peer group, we could do it via some kind of code...or even in one of those virtual life games with avatars. Somehow, someway..the force would be with us and the legions.

Just ONE of MANY Reasons Why....

...a berth in hell should be reserved for this miserable SOB:

Khalid Sheikh Mohammed: "I Decapitated American Jew Daniel Pearl" - Dafna Linzer and Josh White (Washington Post) The Pentagon Thursday released an additional portion of the transcript of a military hearing for al-Qaeda leader Khalid Sheik Mohammed in which, in gory detail and boastful prose, he said he personally beheaded Wall Street Journal reporter Daniel Pearl in February 2002. "I decapitated with my blessed right hand the head of the American Jew Daniel Pearl in the city of Karachi, Pakistan," Mohammed is quoted telling the military panel Saturday. "For those who would like to confirm, there are pictures of me on the Internet holding his head." FBI and CIA officials who reviewed a videotape of the murder have long known that Mohammed took part in the killing.

Who was Daniel Pearl?

Unbelievable: Useful idiot Rosie O'Donnell defends Khalid. I am sure Daniel Pearl's widow and son - a son who never had the opportunity to meet his father - will be happy to know Rosie was so concerned about the "humanity" of their loved one's cold-blooded murderer.

Crossposted to Rubicon3.

Texas?

We need a stringer or a reporter to provide us with real details.

Where old and new media collide

Dan Fost, Chronicle Staff Writer

Friday, March 16, 2007

(03-16) 04:00 PDT Austin, Texas -- Two worlds collided at the South by Southwest Interactive Festival this week. Online media of all sorts is coming of age, and the festival was one of its biggest defining moments. The event aims to bring together new technologies and their practitioners to spur innovation. While the mainstream press was barely present, the conference-cum-weeklong-party was more thoroughly reported on than some national political conventions. And central to the whole movement are companies from the Bay Area, ranging from San Francisco news aggregators like Digg.com to giant video sharing sites like Google's YouTube.

Weeklong-party, Old Media, Party, New Media, Party... We should be there...
"Work. The curse of the drinking class"... Remember who said that?
Remember where you were the first time you heard it?

Wash The Car ?

Today's SF Chronicle reports:

WHICH SHIRT COSTS $275?

Brand loyalty, bargain hunting and unbridled luxury all play a part in the price you'll pay for a T-shirt

Pia Sarkar, Chronicle Staff Writer

Thursday, March 15, 2007

There it is, hanging on a rack next to all the other clothes.

It's just a black T-shirt for women, nothing special. In fact, it looks quite ordinary. But the price tag on it can tell a different story -- both about the company that makes it and the person who buys it.

Will we have to tuck in the front? Will my daughters steal it? Will my son use it to wash the car?

Coincidence? I Think Not

Yahoo News reports

Immense ice deposits found at south pole of Mars

By Will Dunham Thu Mar 15, 3:00 PM ET

WASHINGTON (Reuters) - A spacecraft orbiting Mars has scanned huge deposits of water ice at its south pole so plentiful they would blanket the planet in 36 feet of water if they were liquid, scientists said on Thursday.

I'm confused. The Earth is warming. Mars is warming. The Earth's South Pole is getting colder that the North. Mars' South Pole is getting colder. These must be signs of human life on Mars. What else could it be?

An inconvenient fact?

It's My Fault

Reuters reports that Ballys may file for Ch 11 Protection. If I'd renewed my membership all this could have been avoided.

NEW YORK (Reuters) - Gym operator Bally Total Fitness Holding Corp. (BFT.N: Quote, Profile , Research) on Thursday said it has may have to file for Chapter 11 bankruptcy protection from creditors if it is unable to restructure it's debt.

Just In Time

We started this little blog Just-In-Time....

President Vladimir Putin has decreed the creation of a new super-agency to regulate media and the Internet, sparking fears among Russian journalists of a bid to extend tight publishing controls to the relatively free Web.

Putin signed a decree to create one entity that will license broadcasters, newspapers and Web sites and oversee their editorial content.

Raf Shakirov, who was dismissed as editor of the Izvestiya daily after critical coverage of the 2004 Beslan school siege, tells REUTERS how Putin's decree could extend Soviet-style controls to Russia's online media, which have been relatively free to date.

"This is an attempt to put everything under control, not only electronic media, but also personal data about people such as bloggers," he said.

We don't need no stinking license-! Course, around the world more gov ts are taking steps to censor the Internet. How long before we have some Useless Idiot in Congress stand up and want to do it here?... Oh! That's right. It was just last week.

More:

- Online censorship growing

An article in the Financial Times confirms what most of us suspected:

A recent six-month investigation into whether 40 countries use censorship shows the practice is spreading, with new countries learning from experienced practitioners such as China and benefiting from technological improvements.

OpenNet Initiative, a project by Harvard Law School and the universities of Toronto, Cambridge and Oxford, repeatedly tried to call up specific websites from 1,000 international news and other sites in the countries concerned, and a selection of local-language sites.

The research found a trend towards censorship or, as John Palfrey, executive director of Harvard Law School’s Berkman Center for Internet and Society, said, “a big trend in the reverse direction”, with many countries recently starting to adopt forms of online censorship.

Ronald Deibert, associate professor of political science at the University of Toronto, said 10 countries had become “pervasive blockers”, regularly preventing their citizens seeing a range of online material. These included China, Iran, Saudi Arabia, Tunisia, Burma and Uzbekistan.

New censorship techniques include the periodic barring of complete applications, such as China’s block on Wikipedia or Pakistan’s ban on Google’s blogging service, and the use of more advanced technologies such as “keyword filtering”, which is used to track down material by identifying sensitive words.

Methods such as these are being copied as countries new to censorship learn from those with more experience. “There’s a growing awareness of best practice – or rather, worst practice,” Mr Deibert said.

It is not only the dictatures. There is a growing demand for censorship in western countries as well, with talking heads using child porn and online hate speech as an excuse for widespread censorship.

Where's Jack Bauer?

Drudge reports:

Iran President Ahmadinejad Plans Trip To New York City/UN next week; requests visas for more than 25 'security agents'... Iranians want to fly in private plane and leave a large group in the plane at JFK airport who will not pass through US customs...

I know what we'd do with 25 Jack Bauers sitting at the Tehran Airport.... Or maybe just 25 Delta guys passing thru on their way to someplace else... I don't like it. I'm agin it... If anybody at the State Department asks. What does the President of Iran have to do with a "private plane"?

Jack would ask "What happens if the plane needs repairs? Or If they need servicing? Who's gonna sweep the plane and watch the guys?" If it was an official airplane, then it would be treated like a consulate. You know how Jack feels about consulates.

Perrrrrrrrrrrrfect!

“I mean—hell, I been surprised how sane you guys all are. As near as I can tell you’re not any crazier than the average asshole on the street—” (p. 63) McMurphy

Danke, whichever one of you blokes put up the pic and wrote the HisandHerstory

Pleased as Punch

Love what you guys have done with the place.